How Do I Know What I Think Until I See What I Say?

1. I try to keep it PG around here, but sometimes things are too funny to ignore, even if they aren't exactly child-friendly. To that end, I bring you F### You, Penguin , a site with a LOT of swearing...and cute pictures of animals. The language is not appropriate for children, but hey, welcome to the internet! Here's a sample of the site, with the swearing hashed out (this follows a cute picture of an elephant poking its trunk at the camera): What's that, Elephant? You have a large trunk? I had no idea, because it's not like you are putting it DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF MY F###ING FACE. You know, I'm pretty tall, too. I can reach the top shelf in my kitchen. I also spray water out of my nose to bathe myself practically every day . So please, stop pretending that just because you can do math and recognize your buddies you should get a f###ing Presidential Medal of Honor. Hey, there's Jim, with four other friends whom I recognize, which makes five people total...

The Accidental Tourist by Anne Tyler is another book whose arrival in my life is shrouded in mystery. I don't know how I came across it or why I picked it up. It's not the type of book I usually read, frankly. It's about middle-aged married people and the only really dramatic event (the sad murder of the main character's son) happens before the book even starts. And it's still a completely absorbing novel that completely suck me in to its world every time I pick it up. The story is basically this: Macon and his wife, Sarah, have been married for forever. When their son is killed in a robbery gone wrong, their marriage falls apart, and, somehow, Macon falls in with an eccentric and erratic woman named Muriel. See, not super dramatic, right? But, like Girl , this story isn't about the events that happen, but the voice that they happen in. Macon Leary is so three dimensional, I feel like I've actually met him, like he's a friend of mine, who simply ...

On this fine Christmas Eve, I thought I would keep things in the holiday spirit and talk about something totally relevant to the season--swearing.* Over on Mysterious Matters, Mysterious has a post about sex and swearing in the manuscripts he's been seeing. As I mentioned before , sex and swearing are hot button issues in YA because the readers of YA are under the supervision (at least theoretically) of adults. Some of those adults are strict, and some of them are my mother, and some of them are fine in theory with books that have a little bit of swearing in them, but get freaked out when the characters engage in sexual activities that are (statistically) typical for people the same age as the characters in question. Here's the problem: I was (am! totally am) a young adult. I have spent time with young adults. And many of the people I know are teachers of high school and junior high students. And in all those cases, the anecdotal evidence suggests that young adult are qui...

1. I got the first season of Everwood on DVD a little while ago and, man, I love that show. I know it was (supposedly) family friendly, or whatever, but it's another fine example of teenage characters done right--sarcastic, self-involved, dramatic, but totally relatable at the same time. (CALL ME EPHRAM!) And I cry at least every third episode.* 2. Dear Winter, if you could pick either rain or snow, I would really appreciate it. Thanks! 3. I have heard the hype about Harry & David pears before, and I always thought "jeez, how good could it be? It's a pear ." Yes, it's a pear and I'm an idiot, because Harry & David pears are The Best Pears I Have Ever Tasted In My Life. If you have the opportunity, try one, but make sure it's ripe.** I ate one before it was ripe, and it was just another pear. But a ripe Harry & David pear? Worth the wait. 4. We had the annual potluck at work last week, and I have to say that the people in my divi...

It is a truth universally acknowledged that all chicks love Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, and that is because P&P is a f***ing awesome book. Many people dismiss P&P as a "romance" novel, which it is, insofar as there is a romance in it, or a comedy, which it is insofar as there are some funny parts, but I prefer to think of it as just a Really Good Book, one that you can read over and over again, because the characters feel very real and relatable, which is not, I should point out, the same thing as "likeable" because, as you know, I do not believe in "likable" as an asset. Wow. That is a very long sentence. Anyway, even though none of my seven intrepid blog readers don't know the plot of P&P, it's basically this: -girl meets boy -girl thinks boy is a snob (which he is ) -boy thinks girl is beneath him socially (which she is ) and also may be a bit of a money grubber (which she is not --that's just her mother) -boy starts t...

Writer Jeff Abbott raises some good points here about making time to write. Apparently, he wrote the first novel he got published between the hours of four and seven in the morning, which makes even this early bird cringe. There's "early bird" and then there's "the sun won't be up for three hours," you know? But the point is not lost--if you want to be a published writer, you will find time to write. Hell, you will make time to write. Einstein doesn't have anything on the aspiring novelist as far as the space-time continuum goes. I am a practicing attorney, for a company that makes products you have totally bought, even if you haven't heard of us (but you've probably heard of us). Currently I bill between 200 and 250 hours a month at that job. I also teach LSAT prep 2 or 3 nights a week for The Princeton Review. And I have friends. And I date. And I walk my dog. And I go to the gym three times a week (or I try to). And I make tim...

1. Although I'm not a fan of winter, I am a fan of the holiday season. It seems that people really are nicer during this time of the year,* and Christmas lights are pretty. But the television really sucks. Seriously, it's like every channel turns into the Hallmark Channel or Lifetime Movies, showing movies where lonely (but beautiful and talented and sexy) women get hooked up with random (but hunky and smart and secretly rich) men by Santa. I like the cartoons and other holiday specials, though. 2. I like Noah Wyle a great deal, but even I couldn't suffer through The Librarian films on TNT. Is there anything as bad as a bad fantasy/adventure film? 3. One of my favorite things about the end of the year is all the top 10/top 100/best of lists that come out this time of the year. For example, Vh1 Classic has this show on right now called "One Hit Wonders" in which each show has a theme, like One Hit Wonders: British, or One Hit Wonders: Dance. The host is...