Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Workin' On It Wednesday #23 - First Lines

I'm on vacation, but I've seen the First Lines meme around and thought I would include some of the lines from the things I've got in progress at the moment. All of these are in some stage of drafting or revision, so these lines could change at any time.

From the story at the top of my mind:
No one really knows what happened to Alan Biggs, whether he slipped and fell into the quarry, or whether he jumped, or whether someone pushed him.

From the TNP (Totally New Project, which isn't actually New anymore, but that's what I've called it from it's inception):
It wasn’t my idea to go see Morrissey; it was my mother's.

From Electric Boogaloo (the sequel to The Book):
Football was exactly as boring as I thought it would be.

From the SENP (Super Exciting New Project):
Brandy Summers was by far the prettiest girl in school and she damn well knew it.

From my TRP (Totally Random Project):
The angels all died long ago.

I have a number of thoughts about first lines, but I have to go outside and lie in the grass and read a book now, so I'll tell you all of them later.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Why Jay Quits Reading A Book

Over on his blog the Critical Condition, Mark Blankenship did a post a little while back on what makes him stop reading a book. For him, the defining qualities are the smugness of the author and/or author overwriting. Yeah, I agree with both of those.

But I don't put down a lot of books. I support it, because as I said, life is too short to read books you don't like, but I like most books. Or...I like them enough to finish them anyways, especially because that usually doesn't take me very long.

For me, books I don't like fall into one of two categories:

1. books I don't finish (a very small category), and
2. books I dislike after I'm done with them ( a much larger, but still pretty small, category).

So what would make a book so bad (to me) that I wouldn't finish it?

a. Overwriting. I'm with Blankenship on this one. If you're too busy showing off your mad writing skillz (and/or you use the word "skillz" in your book) to tell the story, then I'm likely to put your book down. I understand the craft of writing, and I understand working hard on it, but I don't understand showing off.*

b. More important, maybe, than overwriting, is stupid characters. And my stupid, I don't just mean dumb. I mean dumb, and reprehensible, and annoying, and lame characters. This doesn't mean your characters have to be likable, but when they aren't going to be likable, then they better be interesting and not just thinly veiled ways for the author to justify wanting to bone a lot of women, RABBIT. ...not that I'm projecting or anything.

c. funny books. Not all of them (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is fantastic, of course, and Lamb by Christopher Moore is pretty entertaining), but most of them. Because they aren't funny. They're groan-worthy. Or annoying. Or both. And usually the characters aren't actually characters, but just excuses for joke set ups.

~~~

* Some people are surprised, given my anti-show-off stance, of my love for Wallace and my disregard for Hemingway. But I don't feel like Wallace was showing off--I feel like he was writing in the way he needed to write to tell the types of stories he wanted to tell. And my dislike for Hemingway has nothing to to with his style.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Workin' On It Wednesday #23 - Falling In Love

This past weekend, I fell in love with a character.* Not one of my own, someone else's. And it got me thinking, why do certain characters work for me and others don't? What is it about a character--my own or someone else's--that makes me want to spend time, sometimes endless amounts of time, with those characters at the expense of my housekeeping and my dog and my job and even, sometimes, my relationships with other people? What does it?

And after thinking about it for a little while, here's a (partial, incomplete) list of the things that can hook me into a character:**, ***

1. They have a troubled past. I'm a sucker for a character who has suffered in the past and has come out mostly okay on the other side. Not totally okay, as you'll see from the rest of this list, but mostly okay. Most of the time.

2. They have secrets. I'm a firm believer in the idea that everyone has secrets. Sometimes big secrets, sometimes little teeny ones, sometimes even from themselves. But everyone has them, and the characters I like are usually trying to keep secrets from others.

3. They have a Code. I adore characters who behave in accordance with their own personal code. First, because it provides a sort of constancy to a character's behavior and you can figure out a lot of how they will interact with other characters or in given situations. Second, it's ripe with plot possibilities. A character with a Code obviously needs to be put in a situation where breaking the Code could or should happen.

4. They are not nice. I'm not a big fan of characters that are well-adjusted and nice. I'm not in favor of characters who are totally misanthropic jerks, either, but characters who bristle and complain, characters who get frustrated, characters who hurt other character's feelings (intentionally or unintentionally) are the types of characters I enjoy spending time with. Maybe because they seem more like my friends.

5. They have hidden depths. But as sort of a corollary to not liking characters who are too nice, I'm willing to hang out with nice characters is they have hidden depths. How is this different from a character with secrets? Because a character with hidden depths isn't trying to keep those depths secret. Nice characters are all right with me, if they have things going on (too many times, they don't).

6. They are Alone (or feel they are). I swoon over the characters who feel like they are alone in all the world, even, or especially, when they aren't actually. Why? I think it has something to do with the fact that I write YA stories, because YA is all about characters who feel alone and are trying to make connections with the world.****

7. They have a Moment of Weakness (tm). In fan fiction, there is a type of subgenre called hurt/comfort, in which a character is injured and has to be nursed back to health by another character. The primary appeal of this subgenre is that it makes a normally strong character vulnerable. And I have apparently been imprinted by this subgenre, because I love the moment when a normally guarded or defensive character has a moment of weakness. Obviously, this has to be a part of the narrative development--you can't just have your characters breaking down over and over again*****--but done well, it's an amazing moment.

8. They are in a relationship that with Never Work Out. I don't mean that a character is in an abusive relationship, which is a different type of thing altogether, but when a character is in a relationship that is inevitably going to end, and the character doesn't want it to. It's terribly sad when a relationship is doomed, and watching a character or a pair of characters struggle to come to that realization, it can be awful in the best possible way.

9. They are in/or are they object of unrequited love. Is there anything more dramatic or heart-rending than a character who is in unrequited love? I mean, there's a reason why unrequited love is such a staple in narrative, because it hurts so good. Almost as good is when a character is the object of the unrequited love of another character.******

10. They are, for lack of a better term, effed up. See above. :)

~~~

* No, I'm not going to identify the character. And, no, it doesn't have anything to do with Christian Bale. :)

** Despite my objections to the form, I'm going to use the singular "they" for this list, because the character could be either male or female, and I don't want to deal with gender neutrality for every item on the list. From necessity comes compromise....sigh.

*** Of course, a character doesn't have to have all these things at once. (And probably can't.) Even just one of these things, done a certain way, can be enough for me.

**** "Only connect," E.M. Forster writes, and really that's what most YA novels are about.

***** One of the many ways in which Real Writing differs from fan fiction--you can't just publish a bunch of hurt/comfort scenes. There has to be a plot.

****** Note that this is not the same as Forbidden Love. I don't find Forbidden Love very interesting, usually. Mostly because I don't see many things in our modern society as effectively forbidding love. In an historical story, Forbidden Love can be really effective, but in stories set in contemporary times, Forbidden Love usually feels artificial and forced to me.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Monday Miscellany

1. Public Enemies is not a good movie. I know. I was all hyped about it myself, because PotC 2 & 3* notwithstanding, I usually find Johnny Depp interesting to watch. Plus, Christian Bale, who I will watch in any piece of crap he chooses to take on (including, yes, Reign of Fire and Equilibrium). Plus the story of John Dillinger, who had a pretty exciting life. But, despite all of this, Public Enemies was boring. BORING. There was no plot to speak of, ninety nine percent of the characters had no motivation (when you could even tell who was who, that was)**, and there were a bunch of famous or semi-famous actors in the movie (Lili Taylor, Billy Crudup, LeeLee Sobieski, Stephen Dorff, Giovanni Ribisi, David Wenham***, and bunch of people from television shows) whose casting was really more of a distraction than anything, since none of them actually had any parts. Michael Mann tends to use stunt casting like this to distinguish the characters in the movie, which is distracting. So instead of understanding that John Dillinger is having a conversation with Alvin Karpis, a major criminal who committed kidnappings and even a train robbery, the audience thinks "oh, there's Johnny Depp having a conversation with Giovanni Ribisi" but doesn't understand why that conversation matters.

Okay, sorry. The movie was a big disappointment is what I'm saying.

2. Not a big disappointment? My viewing, in a theater, of American Psycho. I've seen it before, of course****, a number of times, but I only saw it in the theater once, and it was well worth it to watch it on the big screen again. People made a big deal about it when it came out, about the film's treatment of women and all that*****, but the film's treatment of men in general and Patrick Bateman in particular isn't anything to be proud of. I think it's more remarkable for the atypical exploitation of the male form. Usually women are the ones on display, but in American Psycho it's all Christian Bale.

3. Yard work? Still not fun.

4. My next door neighbors installed a basketball hoop for their kids right outside the window of my office. They'd better get tired of it really quickly or I'm going to be very upset.



~~~

* Pirates of the Caribbean 2 & 3. PotC 2 has the honor of being one of the few movies I've ever walked out of the theater on. Why? Because it was BORING. At one point, my friend leaned over to me and said "there's two more hours of this to go" and I said "Oh, I'm outta here."

** This is a common problem in Michael Mann movies for me. I spent the first hour of Heat trying to figure out if Robert DeNiro or Al Pacino was supposed to be the cop. And I still don't know their character's names.

*** Who is probably only famous to you if you watched the Lord of the Rings Trilogy--he was Faramir--but still, a lot of people watched that.

**** See above for my total dedication to all things Christian Bale.

***** Which is totally valid--women, in the world of American Psycho, are for the most part pretty stupid and useless creatures.

Friday, July 3, 2009

I Heart Agent Kristin

By far the most practical class I had in law school was a course called Personal Real Estate, in which our professor, a practicing attorney, walked us through all the documents that you use to buy or sell your house or a small commercial property. It was very useful, especially when it came time for me to buy my own house, but the thing that stuck with me out of all of the helpful things we learned in class was this:

Everything is negotiable.

Let me repeat that one more time:

EVERYTHING IS NEGOTIABLE.

Some of you might be objecting to this right now. "Oh Jay," you might be thinking. "That's not true. When I go into the grocery store and buy milk, that's not negotiable. I just pay the price that's marked." Sure. Of course you do. So do I, for that matter. But that doesn't mean the price isn't negotiable. It means you haven't asked.

(There's also a corollary: just because everything is negotiable doesn't mean you should negotiate everything. That way lies madness. Sometimes you just want to buy the damn milk and go home, you know?)

Which brings me to why I heart Agent Kristin, even though she does not have the good fortune to be my personal agent. Last week she wrote this post, in which she talks about how she's not going to take it anymore when a publishing house says "we have a policy that we won't do that" about something.

She goes on to explain what's got her back up, and I won't go into that here as (1) I'm not an agent and (2) I don't practice publishing law, but the principle of not accepting "oh, we don't do that" as a reason for not negotiation is a sound one.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Workin' On It Wednesday #23 - Villains Are People, Too

Earlier this month, Lynn Viehl had a lovely post about antagonists called, hilariously, "Ten Things I Hate About Your Protagonist." In that post, she talks about the number of ways that antagonists can be two-dimensional or just plain boring. My favorite of hers?

In the middle of the final crisis in the story, when she has the upper hand over everyone, the antagonist proudly delivers a full confession of all the wrong she's done.

Hmmmm. Maybe she's Catholic.

In the world of The Incredibles, this flaw would be called "monologuing." :) Seriously, though, this should never happen anymore. Not even in James Bond.*

My own personal problem in writing antagonists is that I don't spend enough time on them. My villains aren't two-dimensional, exactly, but I don't have a good idea what's going on with them in the early drafts. Like, they just show up for plot purposes and I don't know enough about their internal lives to know why they would show up in this particular place at this particular time. And then one of the members of my critique group will be like "was he just hanging out in the bathroom waiting for your main character to show up or what?" and I'll slap my forehead and figure out why the hell my villain was there in the first place.

The thing is, I don't know why this is something I have to be told every time. I should know this, already. I do know this already. I even wrote about it before: every character is the protagonist of his own story. Now I just need to remember it.

~~~

* One of my MANY problems with the latest Terminator movie was the monologuing that happened at the very end. To make matters worse, it was SKYNET (the computer that takes over the world) who did the monologuing! The only acceptable excuse for monologuing is the antagonist's desire to gloat over the hero, which as a computer SkyNet doesn't antually have. sigh. And that's not even close to my biggest problem with that film. Note to Self: Christian Bale can't save everything, Jay, a lesson you should have learned from Reign of Fire.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Monday Miscellany

1. I don't have anything of relevance to say about Michael Jackson's untimely (but not necessarily unexpected death) except these two things:

(a) dude, the same day as poor Farrah Fawcett? NOT COOL, MJ. Not cool at all.

(b) my favorite Michael Jackson song is "The Way You Make Me Feel." It's a simple happy little pop song, and it's perfect.

2. "Her Majesty's Dragon" is a delightful novel. It's like Horatio Hornblower, but with dragons! I got it on a whim with a gift certificate from work, and was charmed by chapter two.* I look forward to picking up the other installments.

3. My favorite Janet Jackson song is "Miss You Much." It's a song about a girl who's psycho for her boyfriend and can't let him out of her sight, but it's got a hell of a beat.

4. I hate doing laundry. I object philosophically to paying someone else to clean up after me, but every weekend when I do laundry I reconsider that philosophy carefully.

5. Writing? Oh yes. I'm hip deep in something new and it's...interesting. My main character is troubling me, but in a good "what the hell is he doing now?" way, not a bad "I don't have an effing clue who this kid is" way.

~~~

* Chapter One was a little too derivative of Anne McCaffrey for me. I understand that there's only so much you can do with the whole dragon oeuvre, and the first chapter was totally fine, but it wasn't until chapter two that I thought "oh hell yeah."

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