Skip to main content

Doing What You Love

Recently, I read a post over at Brazen Careerist in which she says that the worst career advice she's ever heard was "do what you love."*

Yeah, I totally agree. Once upon a time, a long long time ago, in a land far far away, I was going to be an English professor. I loved teaching.** I spent hours and hours preparing lessons plans and assignments. And hours and hours grading papers. And I loved every second in front of my classes*** and working with my students. And I was good at it.****

But the thing about doing what you love is that, when you love something, everything matters. Every mistake, every minute, every mile. I would dissect my lessons and try to perfect them (which any teacher will tell you is impossible. Teaching requires students, and the students are different each time, so a lesson that worked perfectly in one class will bomb in another. In teaching, there is no perfect. There is only good.). I poured my heart into it, for years.

And then I quit.

I had to. It was killing me. It took all my time and all my energy and all my love and ultimately, I couldn't do it anymore. And Penelope Trunk is right -- a job can't make your life complete. And what I learned is that a job can't be your complete life. Nothing can.

And sometimes doing what you love can break your heart.

Now, I teach for fun, and I love it just as much as I always did. Maybe more, because it's not my whole life. I can step away from it when I need to. I can turn to my actual job, or to writing, or to my friends and family. I can love it and let it go at the same time.

Don't get me wrong, I love my job now. It has it's moments, for sure, but I like the people and the work is interesting and the money is good. There's not much more you can ask for, really, in a job. And the best part is that I can leave my work at work. I can go home and not spend every waking moment obsessing about it.*****

In other words, I love my job, but I'm not in love with it. That's better for everyone involved, I think.

~~~

* It's not a recent post--it's from 2007--but I just read it recently.

** I still do.

*** Including the time my slip fell down in front of the whole class.

**** I still am.

***** If you work with me, I totally spend every waking moment thinking about my job. Really. I only speak the truth in the footnotes.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Monday Miscellany

1. I've been watching old episodes of The West Wing on Bravo lately, and have come to the conclusion that I love the character of Sam Seaborn. He's smart, he's earnest, he's a good writer, and he's played by Rob Lowe. What's not to love?* 2. I just bought the cutest jacket at Ann Taylor Loft. I know you care, but it's not every day that one can find a white denim jacket with styling reminiscent of Michael Jackson and a tailored waist. I'm just saying. 3. NaNoWriMo proceeds apace. There is no way that I'm going to be able to keep writing at this pace after this month is over, but I'm on track to finish. It's an interesting project...in some ways the speed is freeing and in other ways it's extremely limited, as to make the word count I have no time to go back and revise. 4. Alien and Aliens are amazing movies. Alien 3 and Alien Resurrection ? Not so much. 5. This week's Glee characterization inconsistency watch: Rache...

Why Are The Characters Friends?

Lately, I've been reading a lot of books where the main character and her best friend don't get along. This is confusing to me. Why is the main character friends with someone she dislikes, or is afraid of, or actually hates? I get that it happens--I've seen Mean Girls . I've read Queen Bees and Wannabes . Heck, I'm old enough to have been the prime audience for Heathers . But in order for this fractured best friend relationship to be convincing, it has to be set up. In both Heathers and Mean Girls , there's a reason why the protagonist is friends with a bunch of b*tches--she chose to be. She knows that they're jerks. In fact, she can feel herself becoming a jerk right along with them. It's part of the character arc, the point of the story, that being friends with these girls is not who she really is. But the relationships I've been seeing lately don't make that kind of sense. The protagonist doesn't have a reason to be friends with...

Jay Takes A Stand

Moonrat, still at Editorial Ass, is making me think a lot lately. She did a recent post here about sexualized violence in print ads, and connected the dots to sexualized violence in books and other media, which got me thinking about how I treat girls and women in my books. To be clear--I'm a feminist. I believe in equal pay for equal work and reproductive choice, and the whole ball of wax. I'm not going to go into detail about all that here because, frankly, there are people out there whose blogs are dedicated to that kind of thing (like Jezebel *) and they do it way better than I ever could. But that's my political orientation, in case you care. So when I was writing The Book, it was very important to me that my female protagonist S did not fall into any of those "heroine needs saving by the hero" tropes that so many books for teenage girls do. Sure, there's something very "romantic" about the hero swooping in and rescuing the heroine, right? ...