Skip to main content

Workin' On It Wednesday #25 - On Crises of Confidence

On his blog this week, agent Nathan Bransford asked his readers how they deal with the "Am I crazies," which he defined as this:

You probably know what I'm talking about: the "Am I crazies" are that feeling you get where you're spending so much time writing a novel or multiple novels, your friends and family are wondering what you're doing, and you have no idea whatsoever whether you will ever see publication. You could be spending your hours writing the great American novel or you could be writing something that will only be read by your critique partners. No way of knowing. That's when you stare at the ceiling and wonder, "Am I crazy for spending so much time doing this?"

It's an interesting question. Writers, like other artists, are asked to create before they get paid (either literally, like, in money, or figuratively, in appreciation). So someone who wants to be a writer has to commit to the work first, and then hope for the reward later. There's a lot of time in the middle there. And if you want to be published, there's a lot of time when your goal is dependent on other people who are very busy and may not get back to you as promptly as you would like.*

So it's normal, I think, to have those moments where you wonder "why am I doing this? Why am I spending all this time on what could very well be a fruitless endeavour? WHY BOTHER?"

I have those moments from time to time. But I didn't respond to Nathan's question this week, because I don't have an answer for him. How do I deal with the "Am I Crazies"? Simple.

I don't.

I ignore them. I pull a Scarlett O'Hara and decide I'm going to worry about whether or not I'll get published tomorrow, and then tomorrow I do the same thing. See, the thing is, there's nothing I can do beyond what I'm doing to get published. I have taken (am taking) every conceivable step beyond meeting and marrying a billionaire who can buy me my own publishing house.** So it doesn't matter if I'm crazy or not. The decision is out of my hands.

The funny thing is, most of the writers on Nathan's thread have said the same thing--they just deal. My favorite response came from a woman named Tracy, whose answer started:

I had 5 kids within a 6 year span, so I already know I'm crazy.


No kidding, lady!

~~~

* Or AT ALL. I'm looking at you Agent Who Fell Off The Face Of The Earth. (NOTE, this is not a veiled reference to Agent Ted, who is very prompt and who I spoke to just last week.)

** If you are said billionaire, please feel free to contact me via comment. I'm always on the market for a fresh billionaire.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Fourth Horseman: Excerpt 6

This is all of chapter 4, in which Suzanne buys a dress and sits in a chair with Anastase.   The other excerpts can be found here: Excerpt 1 Excerpt 2 Excerpt 3 Excerpt 4 Excerpt 5 ***** Chapter Four “I was thinking,” my father said over dinner that night. “Since your mother is on the road to recovery, we could go into town for dinner next Saturday, maybe to that sushi place you like. Maybe bring Gabriel. Interested?” “Sorry, I can’t on Saturday,” I said. “It’s Homecoming.” My father dropped his fork to his plate. “You’re kidding.” “I have to go. Gabriel’s nominated.” “Do you believe this?” my father asked my mother. “Are you hearing this?” My mother shook her head, smiling. “You’ve met Gabriel, right, dear?” “Our daughter. Dating the Homecoming King!” I rolled my eyes. “He hasn’t won. He’s just nominated.” My dad fluttered his eyelashes at us. “I wished for this day, but I never thought it would come true. Will there be a limo? What a

Character Post: Anastase Beryl

NOTE: This post contains spoilers for The Fifth.   Peter Murphy.  ::swoon:: Oh, Anastase, Problem Child Extraordinaire.  At the beginning of The Fifth, Anastase is terrible .  He's selfish, he's rude, he's heartless, and all of that makes him incredibly attractive to Suzanne, who has, sincerely, the worst taste in men. He's one of those guys who you know you should stay away from and yet don't want to. Originally, my conception of Anastase's physical appearance was based on the singer Peter Murphy from Bauhaus, that angular, mysterious, dangerous vibe, that people either love or hate.  A more modern approximation is actor/model Luke Eisner, although he's a little too . . . healthy looking for Anastase.  He needs to drop a little weight -- maybe pick up a teeny coke habit or something -- and then he would be perfect! :) If Luke Eisner loses 20 pounds, he is Ana.   Because he's the First of his Circle, Anastase thinks that means hi

The Fourth Horseman: Excerpt 5

The latest excerpt, still from Chapter 3, in which Suzanne encounters a bully and talks about sex.  Previous excerpts are here: Excerpt 1 Excerpt 2 Excerpt 3 Excerpt 4   ***** The football team had a bye week in anticipation of Homecoming (and the fact that I even knew what a “bye week” was was a testament to how much I liked Gabriel), so Gabriel showed up at my locker after school to join me and Spencer on the walk home. “We’re so happy for you,” Spencer told him, ducking under his arm to hug him. “Are we?” I asked, sliding in under Gabriel’s other arm. “You are a terrible liar,” Gabriel told Spencer, hugging him close. “Fag,” someone muttered behind us. I snapped my head around and saw a couple of kids around Spencer’s age snickering into their hands. I took a step toward them. “What’d you say?” They scowled at me. “Nothing,” one of them answered. “No, really, what’d you say?” Gabriel asked, his voice mild and friendly, his arm still around Spencer’s shoul